General25 Jul 2013 09:37 am
Wintery Run at Sunshine Village

Can’t see the forest for the trees, January 2013

I feel like this blog is in a bit of limbo – I lack the follow through to post about restaurants in D.C., let alone ones left untouched from our final weeks in Okinawa in December 2011. I have been cooking a lot, but nothing is really that imaginative or incredible enough to blog about.

I spend most of my day researching, absorbing, inhaling material and knowledge required for my other blogs, mixed with watching Star Trek on Netflix, leaving little time to think about my own personal stories and life. And are blogs even about personal stories anymore? Didn’t that kind of stop with monetization of said blogs? (Okay, rhetorical questions here. Stay with me.)

So where am I? Where is this blog going?

Crazy White Girl with a Kitchen (née Keyboard) has been around in various forms for over a decade. Where will it be a year from now?

But before I address the future, what about the past? What have I done in the last year? In 2012 I  arrived home from Asia, and lived in my parents basement for some time. I still feel the rage at our current landlord scoffing at my rental application: “But your current address is at your parents house…”

Well, yes – would you rather I live in a cardboard box between moving home from overseas and trying to move into a new town? THE RAGE.

But, I digress.

moving chaos

Move In Chaos, May 2012

We spent some time reconnecting with Edmonton, marvelling at the new restaurants and burgeoning new food scene, loving the nostalgia. Then things got hectic – we moved to the mountains in May, had several visitors, I went on a serious road trip with my parents, applied for and got a UN internship, moved to DC in August, made new friends and celebrated old ones in Vegas in December and then suddenly it was January and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.

I got a part-time temporary job that filled a hole in an awkward way, but then I packed up and went back to Okinawa and Las Vegas for a few weeks. In many ways it cauterized the wound left by leaving there so suddenly. I shook 261 hands of the wonderful former students now moving onto high school, spent some amazing time with old friends, ate some food I’ve been longing for over the past year and spent a lot of time thinking. Where will I be next year? Next month? Who will I be?

This past year has not gone how I thought it would at all. But then I realized I did not really have a plan for this year – it was mostly to be spent thinking about what I wanted to do. Instead I just started to DO those things. Turns out sleeping in everyday and playing video games in your PJs gets more boring more quickly than you thought and you’ll do pretty much anything to escape it.


Wearing a traditional outfit (Okinawan Bingata kimono and hakama) to junior high grad, Okinawa, March 2013

I have found some things that drive my day though, and one of those things is work. And in Canmore, there is work, but it’s not really the kind of work I want to be engaging in, I’ve discovered. (Not that there is anything wrong with folding towels or slinging coffee or working a till, I’m just – past that stage. I think.)

So what’s a girl to do? I love the outdoor lifestyle here, even if I think I could take advantage of it more. Although taking the trash out and seeing a herd of elk ten steps from your door is kind of amazing.

I love being close to my friend Kenny, but also miss friends in Edmonton and Calgary perhaps more than when I was further way. The guilt at being so close but not seeing them weekly is harder than surviving off of monthly Skype dates. I hope one day to see my friends further afield – there are so many. So many stops, so many dinners and drinks to be had, so many stories to recall and create. My parents are leaving Edmonton and heading for Thailand and Arizona. My home base, as temporary as it felt (and yet not – 17 years in one spot is no joke) is now closing up shop.

I love my home, my view, my kitchen, my husband. I love blogging about Las Vegas weddings. I love writing and communicating and most of all, I love hatching and nurturing ideas. My beautiful leather bound notebook is full of thoughts, brain farts, drawings, lists and ideas, glorious ideas, and I feel like there are a million bees in my head buzzing to get me to do things most days. This is a great feeling, if a bit overwhelming. As you can see, personal blogging is not really on the forefront of my mind these days.

So, where does this leave me? I’ve applied for jobs (my spreadsheet says 34) from Nairobi to Bangkok, Edmonton to New York. A few bites, two interviews, but nothing serious. Am I even ready to move again? Should I go back to school? 35 is approaching, and much faster than I care to admit.

The last two years have passed in the blink of an eye. I can’t bear to think of how quickly the next two will go. Does life ever slow down?

One Response to “Where to From Here?”

  1. on 26 Jul 2013 at 12:48 am tg

    Sounds like a mid-life crisis to me. Alot of people I know in their 30’s seem to be going through this who-am-I / where-am-I-going kind of thing.

    Maybe a personal blog is a place to sort things out. Maybe an old fashioned diary.

    Maybe the thing to do is to seriously count your blessings. Please don’t discount this till you’ve tried it. Many, many people would want to be in your place, having had your experiences. You’re a lucky young woman.