Food16 Nov 2009 07:59 pm

This summer, Mike and I were crazy for penny candy from 7-11. Mandarin orange gummies, citrusy gummi bears, oversized soda pop gummies. Only once did we get gum. It was this kind:

bologna gum

How could we resist? First, there was playground potty humour: “Blow Your Lunch?” AND it was bologna flavoured?!?!? This was something right out of Dahl’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” for me: Three-Course Dinner. Remember? The gum that tastes like tomato soup, roast beef and baked potato with blueberry pie for dessert? Never mind that it turns you into a blueberry.

But, perhaps you have already noticed what we neglected to.

That’s right, “fruit flavored.” We might have been the only people who bought this who were disturbed by the fruit flavouring. (That honestly is weirder to me than meat gum.)

So, this candy sat on our sweets shelf until tonight when I was putzing around and decided to crack it.

Except…

bologna gum

…it actually cracked. 🙁

I made a video of this brick hitting the table, but it’s so disturbing I cannot post it. I’m sorry. Hard to say if it was hard when we bought it, or it hardened over the summer. Probably the latter. I hope.

bologna gum

I love the attention to detail, though. Inspected by the Dept of Bubble Gum! Unlike those lousy non-DBG approved jawbreakers.

7-11 really is where dreams go to die.

One Response to “This gum is bologna”

  1. on 16 Nov 2009 at 8:06 pm Kelly

    Two things I’ve noticed since posting this. 1: the colour is the same colour as real bologna.
    2: Is bologna actually trademarked?